I can has parody store!!

So I had one of those "if only I didn't have such a strong sense of 'i don't like to screw people over'" ideas...

I want to open a store called "Placebo". On most of the shelves, I'd stock things like homeopathic remedies, magnetic bracelets, nano-aligned BS (see my previous post), and various herbs purported to do things that would make sense as long as you don't mind suspending reality a bit. On the rest of the shelves, I'd put up a sign that says "This stuff works!", and perhaps stock some Tylenol, some Day-Quil (nectar of the gods, so to speak), and maybe a few scientifically proven herbals like ginseng for pick-me-ups or whatnot.

I'd make a frickin' mint. I have no doubt in my mind that the crystal stock alone would sell quickly enough to pay rent, and then the 120 dollar bracelets and dowsing rods could certainly pay off my house in a couple of years.

I really wish sometimes that I was more willing to prey on the ignorance of the masses. Oh well...

EMF bracelet? I can be a millionaire!

Apparently, wearing a bracelet can tune your thoughts and stuff. Only 140 dollars. What a deal!!

Do me a favor - try to make it through this next paragraph without laughing. Read it out loud.

Shuzi uses subtle vibration programmed at the nano-level to create a stronger frequency for your biofield and those cells of which it is comprised, enabling your body to more capably resist the effects of any stress it’s subjected to. Your body can reset and self-correct more quickly and easily. Cells communicate with each other by known methods of chemical reactions and through the biofield. They have a resonating frequency at which they operate in order to stay healthy, but these cells are affected by outside electric and magnetic environmental conditions. Subtle vibration can reinforce a cell’s natural frequency to override outside environmental influences, which cause cells to communicate better.

Yeah, I couldn't do it either.

The site is full of things sold as complete scams - and I would bet the owners of the site are laughing their ways to the bank right now.

So the House passed an energy bill recently, right... And this energy bill passes all sorts of wonderful things on to our environmental standards, like increasing the required fuel economies of cars and trucks sold in our country and mandating that incandescent light bulbs be removed from the market.

I'm not going to bother talking about the lunacy of this bill in general - I'm just going to focus on the light bulbs.

Way to be behind that wave, Congress. I'm really impressed.

I've been using CCFL bulbs for a couple of years now, and I've almost completely replaced everything in my house with the money-savers. I'm NOT an environmentalist, either (well, not in the greenpeace sense of the word anyway :)) - I just recognize the economic importance of using these bulbs instead of incandescents. I cut my electric bill by at least 1/3 by using CCFL bulbs, and the fact that they seem to last nearly forever (I have yet to replace ONE in the 2 years I've had them) makes it a complete no-brainer.

It's nice of Congress to again use its power to dictate a market though - very nice of them to let me know that for my own good, I can't buy incandescents (which, of course, I wouldn't anyway!). I love that my tax dollars pay their salaries to write such bills into effect. I am glad that they have the nation's best interests at heart - even if they're so disconnected that they don't even realize that the manufacturers of the CCFL bulbs already KNEW which way the wind was blowing and that most retailers also were quickly shifting their stocking practices to emphasize the availability and economy of CCFLs.

Go you, Congress! Pat yourselves on the back!

Ron Paul on Glenn Beck

His views on evolution piss me off (he's a creationist) but he also believes that government has no place teaching that - so.... that balances.... and he really, really nails this interview in a lot of ways that I fully agree with. Go him. Still impressing me, overall.

He is, as far as I can tell, the most honest and least politician-ish politician I've ever seen. Whether we agree with him or not, that's pretty important.


Yeah, it's a softball interview. Glenn hands each question over on a silver platter, which I don't always like to see - but I have yet to see an interview go beyond people given only the time for a sound bite answer for each question. Apparently, this clip is only 10 minutes of the 60 that he was on the show for, too - so go Glenn.

(disclaimer- I mostly think Glenn Beck is a frickin' douchebag. K?)

The fish and the commandments

Over this last weekend, I was hanging out at one of the local haunts when one of the young ladies in the group revealed her upcoming plans to get her first tattoo. It turns out that she wanted to get a (her words) Jesus fish tattooed on her ankle... and normally, that would have been the end of the conversation, since I'm usually polite enough to people I barely know that I wouldn't just laugh at them in person....

Of course, this was a few beers into my evening... and the first thing that popped into my mind also popped out my mouth-

"You know there are commandments specifically forbidding the mutilation or modification of your body, right? I mean, it's a pretty big deal in the bible, I think."

"Yeah, but that's in the old testament."

At this point I had two choices - go on and have some fun with a religious argument and maybe ruin this girl's night and the guy she was with wouldn't get laid, or just sort of swallow my words and say "have fun getting that tattoo kiddo".

I chose the latter... which was a rare show of restraint.

Ever since, though, I've been bothered by the "old testament" comment. I see the fundies using old testament writings to justify their hatred of gay people, Christians all over the country demand to be allowed to post the "10 commandments" on courthouses, and there's even a Christian creationist museum completely based on the words of Genesis from the Torah.

I'm really confused then - I mean, I know one of the tenets of Christianity in general is that Jesus fulfilled the old covenant with Abraham and god, thus making a "new testament" necessary. But at no point is there (as far as I know) a new set of commandments given which supercede the old - making the commandments to (for example) not mix cloth fabrics just as valid as the ones about murder, keeping the sabbath holy (on the pain of death, by the way), and coveting the neighbor's wife.

So what's the deal? Can anyone clear this logic issue up for me?

Hillary is Satan.

Hillary Clinton would push for regulation of the video game industry to "protect children".

Apparently, she hasn't figured out that most of us mouthbreathers living in rural America are, in fact, smart enough to teach kids that video games are... uh... GAMES....

This puts her solidly into right-wing nutjob conservatism to me. Anyone else want to try to convince me that she's not, in fact, GWBLite? She'll square off nicely with Romney and Giuliani, who believe the exact same thing.

She says at one point -

Whenever I meet young parents… they tell me that they are worried about losing control over the raising of their own children and about ceding the responsibility of implicating values and behaviors to a multi-dimensional media marketplace over which they have no control…

Who the hell is she meeting up with? I know a lot of parents, and not a SINGLE one has ever said anything like that in my experience. Let's translate:

I've met a lot of people who are good at manufacturing quotes about non-issues which can be good energizers for elections. I understand fully that videogames are not, in fact, a threat in any way to the security of our nation, but since Americans now seem to thrive on the concept of a nanny-state holding their hands and protecting them from sex and jihad, here are some choice quotes which show just how nanny-ish my administration will be. Hand me the lube, guys.

The other democrat candidates, by the way, prefer to allow industry self-regulation since they get the idea that, again, they're frickin' VIDEOGAMES.

Sorry Dad.

My dad sent me a chain letter today as written (at least partially) by Ben Stein extolling the virtues of God and kids and blah blah blah. Here was my reply to him- and I don't think I've ever been this explicit with my immediate family about my atheism, so it was a bit strange.
************

I don't base my morality on a ghost telling me that i better behave or else. Sorry - I hold myself to a higher standard than that.

In other words, I want my kids doing the right thing because they KNOW it's the right thing, not because something that's about as real as the tooth fairy commands them to do it.

Don't forget- the same god teaches us to kill adulterous people, homosexuals, and people who work on the sabbath. oh, and let's not forget the genocide- how many ethnic groups did our ancestors cleanse in the name of god? God isn't love, peace, or anything else of the sort. The bible's teachings are evil. Period. I can find very little good in the torah.... Oh, but what about the GOOD in the bible? Surely there are plenty of good stories with good lessons which can teach us something important?

How about the one where Abraham, because of a voice in his head, decides he has to kill his own son?
Or let's go forward in time and talk about the love of Jesus, who (while preaching about turning the other cheek) also left behind a legacy that has set human progress back a thousand years (the dark ages) and even now prevents research into vital areas that could save your mind in a few short years?
Heck, how about Islam, that religion of peace, whose followers have such a hard time taking a joke that they've issued death sentences over a publisher who reprinted cartoons showing a bomb in the turban of a guy named mohammed?

Which god should i scare my kids with, then? The pre-Hell god, which liked vengeance and genocide, or maybe the Christian god which demands full capitulation on the pain of an eternity burning in Hell? Or maybe I could pick an Egyptian or Norse god, which might make just as much sense.


Oh, and ben stein is a fucking moron - he supports creationist teachings and "intelligent design" replacing the PROVEN science of evolution in our public school systems.

Pardon me if I don't jump up and down at this one.

OH and hey - what do you think the percentage of atheists would be in prison?

Love,
Jeremy

Atheists are hated more than gay people.

The Economist is reporting that atheists will have absolutely no chance of being elected anytime soon.

Yeah, shocker.


Here's their super graphic!!!




I wonder if we could have super combo bonuses- like an atheist woman could beat a Mormon black man, but neither could beat a homosexual Jew of Hispanic descent... and the l33t super powers could be cool too, like the Rhetoric of Change +3 or the UberMantraRay.

Sigh. If only politics was more like the rpg-card games (magic crack, anyone?)...

JFK is unelectable.

That SO wouldn't fly nowadays. No way. No how. :(

Hat tip to Unorthodox Atheism for posting it first.

She's asking for it??

Last night, I had the distinct pleasure of attending my daughter's first band concert. The 6th-grade band played very well, and showed great enthusiasm for their craft. I was very, very proud of my daughter at that moment.

My stepmother nudged me at one moment to point out a 7th or 8th grader dressed in a clingy black dress with spaghetti straps. It wasn't particularly revealing, but it was certainly not a "kid" dress.

She leans over and whispers "don't you ever let your daughter wear something like that. She's just asking for trouble!".

Now, I'm assuming that she means inappropriate attention or even a sexual assault. I was a bit dumbfounded. My personal belief is that there is NO such thing as "asking for trouble" based on the way someone dresses. To take an analogy a bit too far, it's like blaming the victim of a rape for the rapist's actions!

I assured her that my daughter tends to lean toward the more conservative dressing styles as a matter of personal choice - but I also mentioned that if my daughter chose to dress in a way that might be offensive to her sensibilities, that's her choice (within reason of course- there will be no showing up for school in micromini skirts and tube tops :)). I felt very smug and self-righteous about that moment, too....

Then, on the way home, my mind started working on me.

Suppose that instead of looking at it as "she's asking for trouble", we start thinking about what kind of groups a kid will wind up with due to the way she dresses. IE - dress like someone who has uh... loose morals (as my step mom might say), and you start hanging out with those other kids and by association you might start getting into trouble... but then that moves squarely into the realm of personal ACTION choices, and not clothing.

Then you have the other issue- let's say you've got 2 women standing in a room in front of a drunken moron that's got a vial of rohypnol in hand. One's dressed in a business suit, very Hillary-esque, and one's dressed like Dirrrty-era Aguilera. Which one do you think is going to get a surprise in her drink?

SO... now I've got this moral dilemma going on. On the one hand, it's never the woman's fault if trouble comes her way as perpetuated by assholes who make bad (or evil) decisions. They aren't ASKING for it.... but at the same time, there is maybe a case to be made for prevention as well, where trying to avoid being too provocative might not be a bad idea in general based on the reality of the fact that there are assholes out there who target women.

Still, I believe very strongly in self-expression, and for kids that means through things like what they wear and listen to. Those are the ways they identify themselves to the world at large... and to start drawing ambiguous lines around what my kids can and can't wear based on a fear of what boys might do seems... I don't know, maybe counter-productive. If they understand that there are possibly greater consequences for certain styles than others, and accept that risk and maybe learn to deal with unwanted advances... life goes on. I think that restricting their self-expression in relatively harmless areas could lead very quickly to self-expression in ways that I won't be as okay with (if I wind up with a couple of cutter-emo kids, I'll be very pissed off :)).

I'd love some input on this...

Mancrush for Obama.

Sonofa....

I'm beginning to get a total mancrush on Obama. This is bad. Very bad.

His politics aren't really all that in-line with mine (though he is a refreshingly pro-science guy, which is better than most of the other candidates... though he does favor stripping nasa of money to "pay for" some education initiatives, which seems completely counter-productive to me, but that's another story for another day), but here's the thing - he's refreshing. He's smart, literate, insightful, and understands the world as a place where black and white ideas fall apart quickly and also gets the idea of nuanced positions on issues.

Would I vote for him? Probably not.... but I would rather see him in office than any of the other republicrats (though realistically, I don't know that it matters who wins this time around. We'll see.).... and anyone that quiets the hillary machine (or makes her more obviously GWBLite to the people who hadn't realized it yet) gets my nod.

top 10 astronomy pics of the year

Click here to go read Phil Plait's thoughts on the 10 best shots of the year.

My personal favorite is actually a movie, taken from the incredible STEREO satellites.



I absolutely love the BA blog, and posts like this one just make me ridiculously happy.

God: 1, Witches: 0

From the Observer:

'My youngest brother died. The pastor told my mother it was because I was a witch. Three men came to my house. I didn't know these men. My mother left the house. Left these men. They beat me.' She pushes her fists under her chin to show how her father lay, stretched out on his stomach on the floor of their hut, watching. After the beating there was a trip to the church for 'a deliverance'.

A day later there was a walk in the bush with her mother. They picked poisonous 'asiri' berries that were made into a draught and forced down Mary's throat. If that didn't kill her, her mother warned her, then it would be a barbed-wire hanging. Finally her mother threw boiling water and caustic soda over her head and body, and her father dumped his screaming daughter in a field. Drifting in and out of consciousness, she stayed near the house for a long time before finally slinking off into the bush.Mary was seven. She says she still doesn't feel safe. She says: 'My mother doesn't love me.' And, finally, a tear streaks down her beautiful face.

Go god!

Chuck Norris is a frickin moron.

Yeah, I said it.

Here's why.

Let's take a few of his quotes at random.

(and yes, I get that he's being snarky and funny in his mind - but I have a feeling he's not really going too far from what he - and likely millions more - really believes.)

Require Bill Gates and Warren Buffet to personally pay for national, comprehensive medical coverage for every American (or meet me in the Rose Garden).

And when they run out of money in the first year, are we going to be pissed off at them? For someone who espouses such conservative beliefs everywhere else in his post, he sure seems strangely willing to forcefully redistribute wealth. Why is it Bill Gates' responsibility to make sure I have health care? I provide my own just fine, thank you - I really wouldn't want to use a government-based system in place of my current insurance. I get shivers just thinking about it.

Tattoo an American flag with the words, "In God we trust," on the forehead of every atheist.

Only if you tattoo an American flag on your forehead with the words "I'm a moron" first. You can go ahead and carry on that belief in God if you'd like - that's your handicap, not mine. Trying to brand me with a tattoo for my rejection of your ghost is strikingly reminiscent of something done only a few decades ago to relatives of mine who were then gassed and cremated for their own religious beliefs. Real cool, Chuck.

Ask Al Gore to provide me with a special governmental study on the connection between spotted owl extinction and global warming. (I'm pretty sure Michael Moore will film the docudrama).

Uh... Al Gore doesn't have to. The threats to the spotted owl have very little to do with global warming. It has to do with the fact that logging is taking out the trees which support their habitats. My cousin and her husband spent years tracking the habitat changes, and I have to say that I'm really glad I'm not a spotted owl. Basically their neighborhoods are getting gentrified on a rapid basis. Stupid humans, always ruining the property values.....


I could go on, but yeah - I recognize that it's a comedy post, and he's trying to be funny... but at least one point has offended ME - and I can take more offense than almost anyone I know.

Chuck Norris - you might be able to kick someone's ass, but you're a bigoted moron.

Barak Obama gets points.

NPR aired a debate between the democrat candidates yesterday, and while what little i listened to was boring and ridiculously unremarkable sloganeering, Barak Obama pulled ahead of the pack for me by a whole bunch with one answer.

Click here to read the transcript of the debate.

The question referenced the idea of foreign policy doctrine - saying that history remembers the Monroe Doctrine, and will likely comment on the idea of the Bush Doctrine - and then asked "what would YOUR doctrine be remembered as?" Most of the candidates took this opportunity to spew out rehearsed lines about NOTBUSH and NEGOTIATE and DOESN'T RULE OUT USE OF FORCE BUT ENGAGE IN DISCUSSION etc - and Obama wiped the floor with the rest of the candidates by saying the following:

SEN. OBAMA: Well, I think one of the things about the Obama Doctrine is it's not going to be as doctrinaire as the Bush Doctrine because the world is complicated. And I think part of the problem we've had is that ideology has overridden facts and reality.

Go him.

I don't agree with a lot of his politics, but I have to say it's refreshing to hear a thoughtful answer that provides for nuance in policy that no one else seems to address. The dumbing-down of policy into "don't negotiate with terrorists" and "kill em all" and "negotiate but allow for the use of force" is getting really old.

Would I vote for Obama in an election? I don't know... it's still voting for the machine, you know?

Mitt Romney sucks - but not as badly as I thought.

As I was listening to NPR this weekend, there was some discussion about each of the Republican candidates. Very little stood out to me other than the fact that several of the candidates, Romney included, believe that the bible is the INERRANT WORD OF GOD. Romney went on to say that he believed in every word and every commandment in the book - though I wonder if he knows about the ones requiring people to, say, not wear different types of cloth at the same time, or the one decreeing which side of the bed to get up on. Heck, I wonder if he eats bacon....

The weird thing, though, was that his stance on intelligent design was damned near right. He believed that ID should NOT be taught in science classrooms (though he thought it should be taught if the districts wanted to in OTHER contexts, like in philosophy and such - which I would overall be okay with I think).


He's still a douche, though.